Last Chance for Redemption
by Vinny Valentine
Summary: It has been another year since the telling of the game. What if the past of Vincent comes back to haunt him? Can he make amends for his actions 30-some years ago? Or is he doomed not to recieve what he longs for? Only time can tell.
1. A familiar image

**CHAPTER ONE: A FAMILIAR IMAGE**

(note: the italisize/underline is Chaos' talking)

It was midnight in the city of Midgar; the lampposts were shining their light on the deserted sidewalk. Only one figure was out in the pitch-black night. The lone person walked silently on that loathsome sidewalk, and he liked it that way. Vincent Valentine liked the peace and quite that the night brings, as he walked his mind ventured on a path that he preferred it not to go down. That path brings back the memory that has haunted him from long ago. He stopped by the train station, which was near the place called Sector 7 Slums - which for the past year has been cleaned up. Vincent sat on the bench and leaned back, his mind firmly fixed on what he once was a place and time he wish he could forget.

Why can't I forget you...? Why do you torture me..? Why can't I move on...? Why must I feel this way, every time I think of us..? Why am I forbidden to erase that day and memory...Why...Why...

He sat there, for how long? No one could say for sure, not even himself. Vincent slowly got up and headed for the hotel he was staying in, the hotel was owned by Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockheart, called rightfully 7th Haven Revisited. Since his apartment was destroyed, they offered him a room there. The hotel doors squeaked opened, and behind the desk was Tifa. As she turned around and noticed Vincent walk in, she just nodded and smiled; Vincent didn't even glance her way, he just walked up the stairs, went into his room, and gently closed the door behind him. Cloud walked out of the side door and looked up the stairs as the door closed.

"I guess that was Vincent." He said casually as he glanced up at the clock on the wall, and noticed the time. "Yep, it's time for him to get back from his walk. Today's was longer than usually." Cloud said as he turned to Tifa. Cloud stretched and stifled a yawn.

"Well good night Tifa, see you later."

"Good night Cloud."

As Cloud's door closed, Tifa finished up her paperwork from behind the desk. She made sure that all the keys were on their appropriate hooks; the logbook was open ready for the guests to sign. _What a day_. She said to herself. Today has been one of their busiest. Tifa started to think about their other friends: Barret, Marla, Red XIII - or Nanki, Yuffie - where they are now and what were they doing. She sighed and yawned, Tifa waited until the new receptionist came that her and Cloud hired for nights. The receptionist wasn't all that friendly, but it's all they could find to work the long nights, Cloud hoped that with a little more experience she'll lighten up a bit. So far no change in her attitude, and Tifa began to worry about it - if she doesn't try harder in being nice - they'll start losing business and after all the hard work that Cloud and her put into remaking this place. Then right on time, she walked in and quickly took off her coat. She went behind the desk, put her coat on the chair, and sat down.

"Good evening Diane."

"Yeah whatever..."

"Please try to act nice, you represent Cloud and I at night."

Diane nodded her head, brought out a book from the coat pocket and started reading it. Tifa sighed and walked to Cloud's and her room.

"Good night." Tifa said to Diane, and she acknowledged with a dismissive wave of her hand.

(Lately I've been trying, to fill up my days since you're gone. The speed of love is blinding)

Vincent lay on his bed, resting his head on his metallic arm, and stared up at the ceiling. His mind was still in the past, when he was actually happy. His ruby eyes sparkled slightly from the light coming in from the open window in his room. As he closed his eyes, the last word he silently uttered in his dark room, before he went to sleep, was a word he said often back then ... Lucrecia.

(And I didn't know how to hold on, my mind won't clear)

Something awoke Vincent from his troubled sleep, like that of a familiar voice whispering in his ear. He sat up in bed and look towards the window. The cool breeze came in slowly, as he got up and walked to the open window. The wind gently tossed his long, bangs from his face. There on the breeze, was the familiar scent he knew well.

(I'm out of tears, my heart's got no room left inside.)

The night beckons Vincent out of his room again. He can never refuse its callings: Vincent and the night are one. Mysterious in all their ways, even their beginnings are the same; or so the way Vincent wants to believe. He tore across the rooftops like the wind itself. His footsteps are so silent, that it doesn't disturb the houses occupants.

(Will the arms of hope surround me? Will time be a fair-weather friend?)

Vincent feels free in the night as if nothing could hurt him. Cracks of thunder sounds which signals, the rain is about to come.

(Should I call out to angels? I can't hide its true)

Even as the rain starts to fall, he never lost his balance or footing. Vincent's whole body is in a solid motion, blending in with the rain.

(I still burn for you. Your memory just won't let me go)

His mind stayed firmly fixed in the past, it has been thirty - one years since that day happened and he had been asleep for thirty of those.

_Maybe those days has finally caught up with me. Why does she always stay with me? She has been dead thirty-one years, why does she still haunt me so? Is it because I still love her?_

Vincent's mind went in circles, and the rain felt refreshing like he was starting anew... but something else was bothering him. Something he can't put his finger on.

_Why do I even bother_. As he approached the last house of the block, he quickly jumped over the street below and landed on the next rooftop - and continued as if nothing happened.

_Lucrecia.... why? Why do I feel like this? I will always have a hole in my heart where you once filled it_... Vincent searched for a reason that he might be plagued more often by these memories.

_Now I remember. This is the week that I lost you forever. The week my whole world and everything I knew, turned upside down. No matter how many years will pass, I will never forget the first woman I loved._

If only he could change that day.

(I'd hold you tighter,)

Or did something different in that time.

(Closer than ever before.)

Would his life be different now?

(No flame would burn brighter!)

Or would it still be the same?

(If I could touch you once more,)

No one could say for sure, not even Vincent himself.

Through the sheets of rain, two figures stood near each other, seeming to be parting ways.

"Well I guess I'll see you later, Miss Lucrecia." The man commented. The other person wore a white coat with the hood up, nodded.

(How many dreams will end? How long can I pretend?)

"Yes sir, and thank you sir. I'll bring back any research I find. Good night."

(How many times will love pass me by? Until I find you again?)

Judging from the voice, it was obviously a woman. She turned around, having a notebook under her arms; she walked at a brisk pace down the street seeming not to notice what was going on. She continued to walk, blissfully ignorant, thinking of what she could accomplish in Midgar. When she spoke, Vincent slid to a halt. _That voice. Could it be? ...._

"Lucrecia?" he whispered.

('Till I find you again...)

He shook his head and dismissed it as an illusion. Vincent continued his nightly run, but stopped again as he heard the soft footsteps on the wet blacktop. _That couldn't be her, could it?_ He looked down, and there she was! Plain as day!

A young woman with long brown hair - which is slightly showing under her white hooded cloak - even that walk, the coat, even the smell of the woman's perfume; which was so familiar to the man that stayed in his past. _No it can't be!!!! She died in my arms!! Didn't she? But it's her! I'd recognize her in a crowd of people! But ... but ... _Vincent's head started to spin out of control. Is it another illusion?

Or did his mind just make his memories a reality to simply confuse him. He quietly followed the woman, and the heavy rain plastered his black hair to his pale skin. Little by little, the rain slowly subsided and turned in to a light drizzle. Lucrecia noticed that the rain had calmed down; she pulled back her hood and gently lifted her brown ponytail out from her coat. She smiled as she gazed around with playful brown eyes, always looking for something new to discover. Lucrecia walked towards the inn, which she had heard was rather nice, and walked inside to check for her reservation. Everything seemed in order, though she had to wonder about the receptionist's very bored look.

"Welcome, please sign in."

Diane remotely said, without looking up from her book. But, when she glanced up as Lucrecia wrote her name in the logbook. She then found the room key and handed it to Lucrecia. "Here you are...Lucrecia, have a nice stay." Diane mumbled.

Lucrecia hesitated for a moment, and then she quickly thanked the receptionist and headed up towards her room. Vincent jumped off the roof and entered the hotel, the woman walked in, which was exactly where he's staying. _Everything is going wrong; it shouldn't be this way.... it never was... why is it changing now??? _He shook his head. Vincent went to his room and next door, he heard her footsteps - soft as ever, like bare feet on fresh wet grass. Vincent sat there on his bed, not knowing what to do next. The noises next-door - shuffling of paper and her footsteps - kept his mind spinning. Lucrecia set all her things down in her room and then examined it. There wasn't much workspace. She sighed and gathered up her notebooks and headed back down stairs to where she thought she remembers some tables being. She walked down stairs, after locking her door of course, and sure enough there were some tables by some windows. She walked over and placed her notes on the table, creating a sort of organized chaos on the makeshift desk. She pulled out her glasses and started over her notes again, which she took on the specimens in the lab. This was her chance to prove that they needed her on the team. Lucrecia propped her chin upon her hand as she delved into her notes, losing herself in the complexity of it all. Though as complex as it was, she understood nearly everything. And the things she didn't understand, she certainly had an educated guess at. Lucrecia certainly lived up the brilliant ShinRa scientist she was named after. Vincent mulled over the past events that happened in this short period of time, and again that voice - like a demon inside - started talking.

_you let her die... this is your punishment.... to watch her die... to see her before you... unable to stop the motion of events...you created me... this is your life... your nightmare.......... your torture... events that can't stop and refused to stop...monster...monster... monster!!! _

Vincent snapped out of his daze, and decided to get something to drink since he wasn't able to go back to sleep. As he opened the door, there she was. This can't be a dream. This can't be false. Without realizing it, he started to walk to the woman sitting down. As he approached her, he looked at her.

"Excuse me, have we met before?"

_This has to be her, I can't be wrong._ He silently told himself, but some part of him didn't believe it. Lucrecia was suddenly brought out of her work when she heard a voice. She nearly jumped when she heard it; she had been so engrossed in her work. When she looked up, she was at a loss for words. There stood someone who looked like he belonged in some sort of horror movie. His blazing ruby red eyes and long disheveled black hair seemed to support this reasoning. Though as she studied him closer, Lucrecia saw that he actually had very handsome features under the facade of a madman. And as frightening as his eyes were, they were touched with a hint of sadness and seemed like there was a void in his heart that couldn't be filled. She blinked as she listened to his question.

"I don't believe so, sir." She said politely as she shook her head. Lucrecia smiled warmly as she set her papers down. "You look troubled. Why don't you sit down a moment?" She said kindly as she waved to a seat next to her, trying to help the poor soul. "Are you looking for someone down here? I don't know many people here but maybe I can help you." She couldn't help but be intimidated by this man, and she tried not to shrink away. After all, so many people in the slums had had tragedy strike; he just seemed like another victim. Little did Lucrecia know what grief a woman so like her, even bearing the same name as her, had caused this traveler. That look, was the same she gave him when they first met. He sat down beside her and looked into her eyes.

"Oh my God, you look just like her. You could be her twin."

He had to fight his hand from raising and touching her face. How long has it been since he looked into those eyes? It seemed like a lifetime ago, and sometimes it was just yesterday. Vincent was mesmerized in seeing this woman. Those feelings came back again, should he leave? Should he follow his first impulse and kiss her? His mind raced in every direction, now he can't say a single thing. For the first time in a long time, he is speechless. Lucrecia smiled uneasily at Vincent then caught onto whom he meant.

"Oh. You thought I was the ShinRa scientist Lucrecia, didn't you?" She said almost reading Vincent's thoughts. "Well it's not the first time, actually. I guess I look an awful lot like her. I'm even named after her," she explained to Vincent. "You see, my parents named me after her and then when I was old enough to understand my name, I started following her career. Up until she disappeared that is. After that, I wanted to be a scientist myself. And here I am." She finished and then smiled back at Vincent. "But, how did you know Lucrecia? Are you a scientist too, or a family member?"

Vincent's mind started to race. "I was really close to her. She and I were very close friends. I helped her out on the experiment she was working with Hojo..." That name sends a chill down his spine every time he thinks of it or hears it. How he loathed that name. The man that killed his dreams and tortured him for the rest of his life. The pain of talking about his true love is starting to show in his eyes. Just looking at her, brings back the fondest memories of them together. All the sudden a sharp pain appeared in his chest, a pain so strong it feels like his lungs was in a vice. Also it feels like something inside is trying to claw its way out.

"Excuse me … I have something else to do. Maybe we can continue this conversation when I return." The pain grew intense, so strong that he had to resist in raising his hand to his chest. Vincent rose slowly and headed for the entrance. _I need air... something here is suffocating me..._

Lucrecia jumped up from her work, spilling a few papers onto the ground. "Wait!" She called out, still confused by all of this. Lucrecia had disappeared over thirty years ago! "How could you know Lucrecia? That would make you like, fifty wouldn't it?" She ran after him quickly stooping down to scoop up papers and putting them back into her binder as neatly as she could on the run.

"Please! Who are you?" She asked finally reaching out for his arm, wanting to get some answers from this strange man. He said he knew Lucrecia. But judging by his looks, he seemed like he was in his mid to late twenty's, but that didn't make sense!

Either he kept his age well or something didn't add up here. _Something doesn't feel right_. Lucrecia thought to herself. His arm felt too cold, almost, metallic. It was then she looked down at the arm she'd grabbed. It was as far as she could tell, golden in color. She looked down at where his fingers should be and saw only ghastly claws. Lucrecia wanted to let go, but in her confusion she didn't have the presence of mind to do it. She only looked at it wide eyed in fear, stammering for words. But what could she say? He had a metal claw for an arm!!! Vincent stopped and looked at Lucrecia. He knew something didn't settle with her. How he looked young, but he knew the first Lucrecia thirty-one years ago. That part of his life is hard to talk about. Now she was scared of him, just like he feared. She saw his metallic arm; the one Hojo replaced his normal arm with, and how he ruined his life with this immortality. Oh how he loathed every aspect of his new life.

"It's a long story. A story that you will have nightmares for the rest of your life if you heard it, and believe me when I say, I'm living that nightmare even when I'm awake, an unending nightmare."

When Lucrecia finally found her voice, she was still confused. "I don't understand." She said quietly, still frightened of him. "What horrible thing could have happened to you?" She said as she finally let go of his claw. "Was there some accident that caused this? Because it if was I've seen many specimens with far worse things that happened to them. Whatever happened to you can't worse than them ... could it?" She added the last part as an after thought. After a few seconds of silence went by, Lucrecia found her voice again. "Please, just tell me your name. I'd like to speak with you again. If you'd like, I might be able to help you. Maybe even find something to stop whatever is causing you pain if that is possible." Her voice still didn't have the confidence it had before. Finally, she just sighed and turned. "What am I doing?" Lucrecia said quietly. "You probably think I'm some crazy person now, don't you? Chasing after you when I don't even know you. I don't what's come over me." She said with a little forced laugh afterwards. "Well then. Good day, sir." She said. And with that, Lucrecia turned around and started off to her room again.

_Nothing can end this pain; I wish something could_. "Vincent Valentine." He yelled after her. Lucrecia nodded as Vincent spoke. "That's my name. If you want, we shall finish this conversation, and I will answer all your questions. I promise" _I can't believe I did that! **Stupid!!!!!! **_Vincent silently cursed himself.

"Alright! I'll see you later!" Lucrecia said as she walked back to sit down at the table to mull over these thoughts in her mind. When Vincent stepped outside, once again, his mind just fooled him into talking about his past to a strange woman. Well maybe not all that strange, anyways he knows her ... doesn't he?

_Now I dug myself a big grave... What to say, what to do... One thing is to clear up my connection with the first Lucrecia... She mentioned reports; did it mention my name? Hojo's? Everything that happened, or did someone edit it?_ This Lucrecia had reports from the first.

Records of the past, and she had them all up until that night. _I didn't know she kept reports or records. I wonder what's mentioned in them. This one thinks Lucrecia disappeared, but I know the real reason - their little experiment backfired, and it cost her life and mine. How I wished I could've changed her mind, but she wouldn't listen. _

_Why Lucrecia? Why didn't you listen and believe me_. That day haunts him; it's like a curse that can never be lifted. _Why didn't I save her??.... I told her that I would never leave her... so why wasn't I there when she needed me the most?? She called for me and I didn't show.... she needed me and I wasn't there... I ...I... I failed her.... over and over again...I failed to save the only person I ever loved...Why? Why? Why!!!!!!!! I failed her... over and over again... and that's my curse... and so is this immortality, and my metallic arm. It serves the purpose to remind me of my broken vow...Lucrecia... why??? Why did a Turk ever fall in love with a scientist? Somehow, deep inside, I knew that it wouldn't work.... Everything that happened thirty-one years ago, I blame it all on Hojo!! Without Hojo, I would have a happier life than this ... thirty-one years of pain and torture caused by one man.... one man ruined two life's in one short day…_

_monster... this is what you will always be. **NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU!! **you and I are one and the same.... you know that this is true... if they found out about me, they will hate you and curse you... this is your fate.... you will always be alone... alone... who could ever love a monster! _

Vincent shook his head, trying to silence that voice. Most of the time, he believes it. For his crime, his pronouncement is that he will always be alone, and to face a life not knowing love anymore. Remembering Lucrecia reopens the scar in his heart. It gushes his emotions forth, and every once in awhile, it shatters into millions of pieces. How it could mend itself every time that name comes around, he doesn't know. The inner voice becomes stronger this time every year. Oh how Vincent wishes he could silence that voice forever! The voice is more torture, than reliving his past - even more than Hojo himself! He looked around at the deserted street outside the hotel, and walked to the end of the block. His breath started to come out in gasps, and then followed by wheezing. _Get a grip! Calm yourself down! _Slowly the pressure on his chest was easing, but he still felt hot. The night grew colder, and the wind felt like icicles on Vincent's skin. He leaned on the building, regaining his composure.

_let me out... even I need to leave my little confinement..._

_No your not... I'm not going to let you... hear me... I'm in control not you! _Vincent argued with his inner voice. He feels better, but can he continue their conversation? As he reclined, a man in a white coat appeared around the corner beside Vincent. He didn't even notice the man as he past him, but the guy noticed Vincent and was intrigued.

_That guy looks familiar..._ The man said to himself, open a folder and started to flip through it. As he walked past Vincent, the guy skimmed over the report and stopped at a paragraph that caught his attention:

**'That Turk! Always getting in my way, who does he think he is! Everywhere I turn, she's talking to him. The new Turk on the block, he should take the hint from the others and leave me be! His ice blue, cold stare, something in it tells me ... nah... I hate him!!! I need to get rid of him.... she spends too much time with that Turk, what's his name? Ah yes Vincent Valentine.... He is going to be a problem someday, I can see that.... and I think I know what to do...'**

_Could that be? _Hanz raised his eyes and saw a hotel, so he walked inside and saw Lucrecia at a make shift desk in the hall. Before he said anything he felt the device in his pocket. He saw a quick flashing light, it was still flashing but it's fading now.

"Hey."

Lucrecia looked up from her work and smiled at the professor.

"Hello Professor. Need any help?"

She asked as she slid some papers out of the way. She didn't know why the professor had taken such an interest in her. Lucrecia only recently graduated and hadn't done anything impressive yet. She mentioned to the seat next to her. "Care to join me? I've met the most interesting people here!"

Hanz shook his head and sat down beside her. He smiled as he looked at Lucrecia. "Well no, not anything in particular. I was just wondering where you were staying, and besides, don't you ever take a break?"

Lucrecia adjusted her glasses as she shook her head, and smiled bigger. "Not if I want to get on a large project, like the Jenova Project!" She said as she started filing the papers away. "And I'm staying here, if it wasn't obvious." She finally got all of her papers back into her pack and stood up. Then straighten out her ponytail, it was getting messed up from neglect.

Hanz shook his head and looked at Lucrecia. "You are defiantly one of my brilliant students. No, but I'll let you get back to your studying Lucrecia. Good night and see you in the morning."

He stood and bowed, out of respect, as she did the same as well. "Good night, sir." As Hanz left the hotel, the figure he saw earlier was coming this direction. The figure stepped into the light of a lamppost, and he saw clearly the face he thought he saw.

_It is Vincent Valentine! I thought I would never see him! He is exactly what the reports said. He hasn't aged a day since then. FINALLY! My hard work is going to pay off._

Hanz smiled to himself and went the opposite direction, toward the hotel around the corner. He stopped outside the hotel, and pulled out the device he had in his pocket. He also took out the report he was reading and skimmed over it.

_He said this would do something to him ... Yes! Here it is! This is how he controlled Vincent that one time, but this device was in his brain ... I wonder if I got all the components. Yes I think I have._

Lucrecia then proceeded to walk outside to get a breath of fresh air. She inhaled the cold air, after being stuffed up in that hotel for so long. She sighed and closed her brown eyes, concentrating on what she had learned. As Vincent got closer to the 7th Haven Revisited, he noticed a guy in a white coat disappearing around the corner. Vincent got a sense of dread from that person, but shook his head to clear that thought out of his mind. _He looked familiar, somehow ... he looked like ... Nah, I've been thinking way too much about him ..._ Then he saw Lucrecia standing perfectly still; he quietly walked up to her side. Her pose and how the wind whips her hair around - it's all coming back to him now. It takes all Vincent has not to wrap his arms around her and kiss her neck. How he longed for a second chance, could this finally be it?! Before he said anything to her, he made sure that the episode was passed. It did and he felt better, for some reason _it _became stronger.

"Lucrecia?" Vincent said softly, not wanting to disturb her.

"Hmm? Oh, hello again." Lucrecia muttered, as her chocolate brown eyes fluttered open. She yawned slightly, because she had actually begun to doze off after closing them.

She'd over worked herself again, but she didn't care. Anything to get her closer to her goal, Lucrecia smiled softly at Vincent before moving a strand of chestnut hair from her face. She stretched her arms out, as she stood up to her full height; which really wasn't that impressive - and then put her hands into her deep pockets of her lab coat.

"I was wondering if you were coming back, my boss came by earlier. He wanted to know if I ever stopped working." Lucrecia finished with a light laugh. "If I only had the time." She sighed. "But..." She hesitated a bit before continuing. "I do have a moment, if you wanted to talk. You seem like a very interesting individual." At that moment Lucrecia realized she'd forgotten his name. Or had he ever told her? She thought a moment and then it finally came to her. "Vincent." She tried hard not to let her pale face turn a fascinating shade of red as an indication she'd forgotten his name. Lucrecia recovered fast, but it wasn't fast enough. No matter, it was done, and she _had remembered_, hadn't she? That was the important part, and after she'd almost begged him to tell her. She must have been tired.

_She's just like her, Lucrecia never stopped working either_. He waited until she was finished talking, there was some spots he could have stepped in, but she continued to talk. He remembered few women that he met, when they were nervous - they never stopped talking. Vincent understood some of her nervousness. Vincent looked Lucrecia in the eyes, how his ruby eyes seem to dim as he stared into her brown eyes. He chose his words carefully, for Vincent doesn't want to tell her anything about his deep connection to the first Lucrecia - because it might startle and scare her away.

"You wanted to know more about her, and my relationship circling her. Let's go inside where we would have some quite."

Something outside was bothering him; it felt like someone was listening to them.

_Be careful Vincent ... don't talk too much ... it might hurt worse then it already does..._

_you killed her ... you left her ... you monster ... your killed her ..._

Vincent mentally shook the later part of his thought away. Lucrecia nodded.

"Alright. Would you like to come up to my room? You'll have to excuse the mess," She added sheepishly. "I've been working and still don't have a place for everything."

Hanz peeked around the corner and saw Vincent and Lucrecia talking, and then noticed them walking back inside the hotel. i Exactly liker her journals said. She did love him, but couldn't say it to his face. I wonder if these events will unfold like I had planned. I'm almost to where I'll be staying; there I will try this thing out. /i He smiled to himself and headed to the little inn at the end of the block. Hanz checked in and went quickly to his room, and put out the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door. He laid out the papers on the bed, and skimmed over the directions on the device he built - from the spare parts in the lab, located in Nibelheim.

_Here it goes. Let's hope I got everything I need_.

Lucrecia led the way to her room, Diane peeked out from her book just too see Vincent's red cape disappearing out of sight. When she opened her door, Lucrecia pulled off her glasses and put them in her case, not needing them at the moment.

Vincent followed Lucrecia in her room. He didn't care about the mess, Hojo's lab was worse than this room. He ran his claw hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. He remembers the time Lucrecia brought him to her office; it was approximately the same size - but a little more desk space. Vincent stayed by the door, not to disturb her from settling in. Lucrecia gestured around the room.

"You can sit down if you want Mr. Valentine." She said as she moved papers and equipment around about. When she got it in some kind of ordered chaos, she sat down on the bed.

"Please call me Vincent, I don't like formalities. Where do you want me to start?" He said as he took the chair by the door, and sat down.

"I would like to know how you knew her. That would seem like the best place to start. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but it almost seems impossible that you'd have known her personally." She commented, her curiosity unyielding to her patience, and manners. She was finally going to find out about her hero from someone who knew her personally.

"I knew Lucrecia because back then I was part of a group called the Turks, and she was a scientist there at ShinRa Inc. We hardly talked at first, but we had the same interest and then we helped each other out. I knew some of the projects that those scientist working on and Lucrecia gave me some inside information." Vincent stayed calm and collective, he chose his words carefully - he's not trying to give too much information at once, but sooner or later, he has to tell her about that day.

_monster ... you let her die ... now you are paying for that ... you killed her ... monster! monster!_

Vincent closed his eyes, as if that was going to help calm his inner voice, the inner voice that came into existence the moment she died. The inner monster that wants to come out and Vincent is trying to hold it at bay. So now he knows that he was wrong to think that 'it' quieted after his stay in the night air. 'It' was just suppressed for the time being and now 'it' got its strength back. Lucrecia listened attentively. "I see. So she gave you information about the 'secret' projects?" She was about to ask another question, when she noticed his composure shift ever so slightly. "Are you alright?" Lucrecia stood up and walked closer to him. Vincent had closed his eyes, but she caught a glimpse of them right before he did. It looked like he was fighting something. "Vincent?" She asked quietly.

_Is that my name? That voice, it is really hers?_

_monster!! monster!! you killed her ... you killed her ... you will always relieve that day ... that is your punishment, sentence , and your torture _

Vincent slowly opened his eyes, and saw her brown eyes in front of him. "I'm fine." He replied as he straightens up. Her face showed concern, how long has it been since he saw that look directed at him? When he breathed out, it came as in a gasp for air, but then he regained his composure. "It's alright. I just haven't been able to sleep for a while_." Why is it that all the sudden i can't breathe? It feels like my chest is being squeezed, or is it just hot in here?_

Lucrecia forgot about her questions for now. Something didn't settle right with her. It looked like he was taking very shallow breaths, something that didn't seem typical of those not able to sleep. Vincent's gasp for air didn't sound healthy at all. This certainly couldn't be triggered by a simple lack of sleep. Vincent had regained his composure, but it was too forced, something had to be wrong.

"Are you sure you're alright Vincent? I'm sure there's a medical facility around here somewhere, if you need it. I may even be able to treat you myself." Lucrecia said softly, afraid of whatever has caused this might worsen. He still didn't look well at all. Tenderly, she reached out a hand and rested it on her shoulder to try to jolt him back to reality. Little did Lucrecia know that her very presence itself could be able to snap the fragile thread that held Vincent's reality together.

_No! Not know!!!! Why does it have to happen now ... but isn't he dead? Only he can do this ...._

Hanz was at that hotel earlier, and installed a video system in Lucrecia's room. He's been watching it since they entered the room, and by accident his finger hit the button on the device. He looked quickly at it and back at Vincent; a smile crept on his face.

_Yes! It worked, just like he_ _said! Now Mr. Valentine, your life will become a living hell once again!_ He searched the reports that were scattered on his bed, skimming is more the word. Hanz found pictures of the scientist team, they were: Professor Gast, Professor Hojo, Lucrecia ... and some others, probably the assistances. He also found pictures that were taken by surveillance cameras, most of them had Vincent and Lucrecia together ... but the majority was Vincent alone. Hojo defiantly had a grudge against that man; those would come in handy for what he did to Vincent. Hanz also noticed some words at the bottom of the pictures, but they were faded and unreadable. In another stack of reports, described in detail the experiments done to Vincent, and the 'demon' Hojo created - all from one source ... Jenova.

"No, no doctor. It will pass, it comes and goes." That hand on his shoulder, made him feel like he was back with the first Lucrecia. A simple touch can do wonders for the mind, soul and body. His breath still came in gasps, but they slowly faded. Lucrecia was about to remove her hand when she felt the small tremors seize up his body. She didn't know what was happening. Was he sick? Was he injured? What happened? She didn't understand it at all.

"Well if you're sure you're alright." She finally said, admitting her defeat to finding out what was wrong with him... She didn't want to pry too much. Lucrecia gently let her hand drop from his shoulder, went back to her bed and sat down; waiting for him to recover. The tremors stopped and Vincent let out a short sigh, but something else was on his mind when he started to talk.

"Where were we?" He asked as he looked at Lucrecia. It's been a long time since someone cared for him. His new friends don't matter, they know he kept his past a secret from them - and they knew not to bother him about it. But that look was a general concern, and he liked that. Lucrecia smiled again, though it was somewhat forced.

"You were a Turk, and worked with Lucrecia." She reminded quietly. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He might need to be in bed or resting, and she was making him answer questions for her own petty reasons. She sighed and waited for him to continue. Lucrecia reasoned he would only leave if they finished their business. She didn't really want him to leave. He was a very interesting individual and he intrigued her. But Lucrecia didn't want him to get ill on her account. It was a tug of war in her mind, that didn't seem to have an end in sight. Though Lucrecia tried to look attentive as Vincent spoke, he leaned back and continued. He looked over at Lucrecia, and seen that she was a good listener. It's been a long time, since somebody actually listened to him.

"Most of the time, when Lucrecia was talking to me she let me in the 'Employee's Only' rooms - which got her into trouble. The main professor she worked with, his name was Hojo. He and I never got along; we were always at each other. Lucrecia was the brightest of the entire scientists there, she knew a lot about what they were working on. The one project that took all her time, which she was always reading about - was called the 'Jenova Project'. I understood most of it, but it always intrigued me how she could spend days upon end studying it." He sighed as he finished. Jenova - that was the thing that killed his happy ever after. The part that came next, he decided to skip; because it would hurt him more talking about it.

"One day, I was selected to accompany the group of scientist to the lab in Nibelheim. There they continued their research ..."

At that point Vincent became distant, remembering the real reason he was there. He just stops in mid-sentence, and for some reason he couldn't continue....

_that's it! remember what happened next? go ahead! tell her! monster! demon! tell her the truth about what happened in that little town! see if she wants to continue with this little chat!!!! monster! you didn't keep your promise, did you?! _

"There they continued their research aaaaaaand ...?" Lucrecia asked, as she found it strange that he'd stopped mid-sentence. Then she realized one reason why he would pause, she swallowed and looked at Vincent. "If this is too hard for you we can stop, if you want." She said quietly. Lucrecia sensed a sort of sadness in him, for some strange reason she felt some kind of guilt, even though she wasn't even there all those years ago. It was like phantom limb pain. You shouldn't feel the pain because the limb isn't there, but you feel it anyways and you don't know why. She wanted him to continue though, and it showed in her eyes. Once the words 'Jenova Project' had been spoken, he'd grabbed her attention entirely. She wanted to learn more about it. Vincent snapped out of his daze, and looked into Lucrecia's brown eyes. Vincent's eyes seem to cloud over, as if ready to cry -but no tears came. He held them back, he wasn't going to let this affect him.

"No I'm fine. You have to know the truth, of what really happened to the first Lucrecia - and I'm the only one that could tell you." He took a small breath and let it out slowly. "Another secret experiment they were working on, I knew nothing about. Lucrecia kept it from me for a long time. That project was that Hojo injected his sperms and the Jenova cells into Lucrecia's body. To make a supreme being, a 'god' - what Hojo called his dream, that was the experiment ... which did happen ... the child was Sephiroth, but the Jenova cells were poisoning her body ... she was dying." Vincent stopped, swallowed the lump in his throat, and choked back his tears. This hurts him more deeply than anyone could imagine, this was the memory her was cursed with in remembering. "I was there to hold her. I couldn't stand it any longer; she was dying in my arms. So I ran down to Hojo and demanded him to save her, but all he did was laugh in my face. 'There is no way to save her ...' he told me, 'the Jenova cells are poisoning her body, she knew the consequences."

_So that is what happened to her! And I know exactly what followed after. Hojo was sure a genius!!_ Hanz held the device in his hands and waved a finger over the button, which would make Vincent realize what he truly was. How was he going to get Vincent to come to him? He wants to finish Hojo's experiment, but to do so; you have to let the test subject come to you.

Hanz knew that Vincent wouldn't give himself up willingly, he has to find his weakness and exploit it ... but what is Vincent's _Achilles' heal_

"Now Vincent ..." Hanz said to himself. "Let's see what lies behind your 'human' mask ..." With that Hanz pushed the button and waited for the show to begin.

Lucrecia didn't know what to say. She was struck completely dumb. No one ever told her what happened to the great scientist. And now to learn that she'd just thrown her life away to try and create a god. She knew now the truth about the 'Jenova Project'. Lucrecia knew that Jenova was not an ancient and everything, but she never knew about this monstrosity.

"I'm so sorry." She managed to say, though her words sounded empty. Like they held no meaning. Perhaps they did to Vincent, but she couldn't think of anything else.

It hurts Vincent so much to talk about Lucrecia. The way he talked about her, how pained his expression was. This man loved her, maybe even more than life itself. And then that woman died, all for the blasphemous dream of creating a god. It was no wonder he looked the way he did. Lucrecia had heard of Sephiroth, the great general of ShinRa Inc; who eventually went mad and tried to destroy the world. Yet she felt a twinge of sorrow for the poor man. Created, most likely mistreated, and never knowing who or what he was. He probably found out, and that was the reason he went insane. Lucrecia didn't quite understand why she felt so remorseful for such a monster. "You tried though." She finally concluded. "Even if she did die, you tried to save her in the end. You shouldn't feel guilty for her death. I don't know everything that happened, or why she causes you so much pain and guilt." It was then Lucrecia realized why he felt so sad around her. People who knew the first Lucrecia always said she was the spitting image of her. She must be a constant remainder of a woman who still haunts his mind. It wasn't the most reassuring thoughts she'd ever had.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." Vincent's head hung down low, if you didn't know him; you would think he was crying. Those words ... how he longed for them ... but would it suffice? Will that make his everlasting torment end? All the sudden Vincent's lungs burned, and he couldn't breathe. He started coughing violently - it came out like a hacking, gurgling sound. His claw hand reached up to his chest.

_Not now!!!! **NOT NOW!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!** Please god not now!!!!_

With that thought, he fell to the ground - only to catch himself with his other hand. His coughing grew louder and didn't cease.

"**VINCENT!**" Lucrecia ran over to try and help Vincent up. He didn't look well and the hacking and choking, was enough to keep him from persuading her he was well. She bent down and tried to heave him off the ground, but he was a lot heavier than she thought. Things weren't looking good. "Vincent, you need a doctor." Lucrecia said bluntly. "You could have pneumonia or TB or something!"

Vincent shook his head; he tried to talk through his coughing. "no ... doctor ... no ... hos ... pit ... al ..." Vincent's cough grew louder, and sometimes he would gag on something rising in his throat. He started to heave slightly, and his breath grew into loud gasps as if struggling to breath. Vincent's arm was starting to get weak, and he felt it coming - up though his lungs, like lava rising to the top of a volcano ready to erupt.

Right below Lucrecia's room was Cloud's and Tifa's. Cloud stirred, as he sat up hearing something unnerving in the room above him. Cloud quietly got up, not wanting to disturb Tifa and exiting the room. When he arrived at the front desk, he noticed that Diane was not there. _Stupid girl ... I should have known better to let her have this type of job._ Cloud thought as he walked past the desk. He heard the sound again, and it was awful. He walked up the stairs and saw that the door was slightly ajar. There he saw the outline of Vincent hunched over the floor, as he pushed the door open Cloud noticed a woman beside Vincent.

"My God, Vincent!" Cloud went to him and knelt down. "Come on Vincent get up. Let's get you out of here."

"No hospital Cloud ... no ...doc...tor...s..." Vincent replied between the hacking coughs. Vincent looked worse than usual, Cloud had seen him in bad days; but this topped them all. Then it hit him of course, doctors would jump at the opportunity to study him. Vincent is 'unique' in certain areas.

"Ok, to your room then." He looked at Lucrecia. "You can come too, just follow me."

Cloud wrapped one of Vincent's arms around his neck, and he took his other and placed it around Vincent's waist; which he semi carried and dragged Vincent to his room. Cloud laid him on the bed and felt Vincent's forehead. "He's burning up! I'll be right back." Cloud rushed out and Lucrecia stood by the door. She didn't know what was going on, everything happened all the sudden. Vincent's coughing was getting louder, and it also sounded like he was gagging on something. Cloud came back quickly, holding a bowl of water, a washcloth and a towel.

"**NO**!" Hanz yelled, and then stopped to make sure no one came and started to knock on the door.

_They left the room! Just when it was getting good! I need to bug all the rooms ... or maybe._

He started to rap his fingers on the nearby lamp stand. That wasn't supposed to happen; Vincent was not supposed to leave the room. Hanz looked down and skimmed over more of Hojo's reports. _There has to be something here I can use! This is not going according to plan, we have so much left to uncover!_ There was complete silence in his room, so quite you could have heard a pen drop. Hanz was flipping though page after page, trying to find what he needed. Most of the reports were very detailed description about a number of things, but none of them struck Hanz's fancy. Then there it was! _Video cameras! That's it, I need video cameras in all the rooms ... but how? How am I going to do that??? _That's the problem he faces, how is he going to set up the video cameras in the rooms he needed in that hotel. He can't walk in and say what he was doing, then of course the answer would be no. Hanz rubbed his chin in thought and his eyes narrowed at the small screen in his room. It's getting late, but he can't sleep now, not when there was a puzzle to be solve

Vincent coughed again, which made his back hurt right between his shoulder blades, and rolled over with his hand over his mouth. Lucrecia was confused at the moment, not knowing how she should act. Cloud walked over to Vincent and saw blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, and handed him the moist cloth; which Vincent took with his left hand - his metallic hand. Vincent then removed his blood soak hand, and placed the cloth over his mouth. His body seizing as he coughed.

"Vincent ..." Cloud said not knowing how to help his friend. He wished there was a way, but without Vincent telling him what is happening; there was nothing he could do.

"Please leave Cloud." Vincent's voice barely above a whisper and his breathe still came out in gasps.

"Alright, I'll be downstairs if you need me." Cloud set the bowl and the towel on the small table beside the bed; and quietly slipped out of the room. As Cloud closed the door behind him, Vincent strained his voice so Lucrecia could hear him.

"Stay ... please .... Lucrecia ..."

Lucrecia wasn't sure if she should stay. But then again, Vincent was sick and he'd specifically asked for _her_ to stay. And he might need someone to watch over him, just incase he got worse and passed out. Or worse ... she tried not to think about what that 'or worse' could be. Lucrecia walked over and sat down next to him.

"Vincent." She wasn't sure what to say next. "Is there anything that I can do for you?" Lucrecia looked around for something in his room to help. Nothing. _What can I do?_ She asked herself. She didn't know what to do since he did not want to be treated. Vincent sat up slowly, straightened himself, and wiped his mouth with the cloth. He took his hand, put it in the bowl of cool water, and gently swirled it around. Vincent heaved a breath and let it out in a sigh. The pain and the dry coughs were gone. He turned his head to Lucrecia. Again, the look of concern and confusion, he reached for the towel and dried off his hand.

"There's nothing you can do, it's passing now. It's a price I pay, a heavy one that no one could get rid of it for me. Another thing I have to live with since that day." Vincent replied as he turned his head around and looked out the window. Vincent's ruby eyes were dim with sadness, confusion and so much more. _I suppressed it this time ... but can I do it again? It's just starting, the worst is yet to come ... does she have to be here every time when it does?_

Lucrecia just stared confused. "What is _it_, if you don't mind my asking." She asked, trying to put this together. Two plus two did not equal four in this equation. "Maybe it would help if we got some fresh air?" She suggested.

"A curse from that day, my sin in not keeping my promise to her, and nothing more." _Should I tell her what I truly am??? If I did, would she talk to me??? Or would she turn away, and I will lose the chance again._

_that's right, go ahead and tell her, tell her you monster!!!! or are you afraid to admit it, admit what you became! to scared of what will happen? who cares! when you talk about me, you afraid! your petrified from fear! _

Vincent's crimson eyes had a far off look in them; part of the past has found a way to him. "Air might help. Now let me ask you a question." He asked as he rose to his feet. Lucrecia stood up and waited for Vincent, offering a hand incase he needed it.

"As you wish." Lucrecia was wondering what there was to know about her. She wasn't the most interesting individual that was for sure. At least, that's what she thought of herself.

"Why did you decide to take over Lucrecia's work. There were so many, I couldn't count them all." Vincent looked Lucrecia in the eyes. Hs crimson eyes, searching for answers in a stranger's face; this time his eyes betrayed how he felt toward the first Lucrecia. Lucrecia kind of shrugged and shoved her hands into her lab coat pockets.

"I dunno. It just seemed like the field for me. And she had so many documents that it was just amazing! I just felt drawn to them somehow." She replied. "I supposed that doesn't help much, but that's all I can really say." Lucrecia said as he looked into his eyes. She didn't know what to make of his expression. It was one of the few times he'd expressed anything. It was strange. "Uhm ... is there anything else you'd like to know?" She asked. Lucrecia studied his face for a moment and wondered if he'd always had those red eyes and the long dark hair. She wanted to ask, but she found the question to incredibly rude and she'd asked him too much already.

"No ...." With that Vincent turned and walked to the window, and just stared out into the night; not really focusing on anything. "It just amazing tat anyone could follow her work. So much was top secret, even the Jenova Project that made the worst monster ever. But I shouldn't judge though. To answer your unasked questions, no. My hair was short then, and I had blue eyes. It was because of other things that made my eyes red." He saw that questioning look in her eyes. It was something he's used to when he gets 'those' types of looks.

Lucrecia blinked, how'd he know? "Oh." Was all that she was able to say. "Well I'd never make another Sephiroth, but her research was interesting ... and I had my way of finding it."

Vincent kept his face to the sky, not looking at her. His mind was on something else. He stood there, not a muscle moving, both arms resting on the windowsill. Lucrecia walked over by Vincent. She looked out the window, up at the stars in the sky. No matter how much she knew about science and how everything was put together, nature - especially the cosmos - still inspired a sense of awe.

"They're pretty, huh?" She asked in a hushed, respectful tone. She pointed out the window to the stars above. "The stars. No matter how much I learn, I can't help but marvel at them. They're ... just ... amazing." Lucrecia trailed off and a smile crept across her face as she watched the tiny, twinkling lights in the sky. Vincent looked at Lucrecia out of the corner of his eyes. How the moon reflects off her kin, brings out all the details on her face.

"I feel at peace at night. The night and I are one. We have so much in common, we both a have a long story to tell, if someone would just stop and listen."

Unbeknownst to them, their conversation was being overheard. The listener has plans to do, and they are the key to the latest 'top secret' project in history.

Hanz smiled to himself. Their conversation got interesting. He heard every word when they reached the window. Great! Everything is going accordingly to plan. Hojo was right about their relationship. Lucrecia's doing her job perfectly without knowing it! How to proceed? That was the next riddle. Phase One has been accomplished, and Phase Two is about to commence. He leaned back and listened intently on the scene unfolding just a block away. _Don't worry Vincent, your part of this 'play' is far from over. You might have a small part in Act One ... but in Act Two ... you are the star!!!!_

Vincent sighed. What should he do? Should he continue this conversation and start where he left off, even though it hurts him to talk to a woman that resembles her in everyway?

_come on, get to the good part! you have to tell her! she cares for you, you know ... but will she still care when you tell her about me? your inner self, your demon friend! come on and state the point! or are you too afraid that history will repeat itself again? you know what happened when you told Lucrecia how you felt about her ... she ... _

_Leave me alone! Shut up for a change! I don't need you to constantly reminding me! I remember that myself without you saying it!!_

Chaos was starting to get a mind of its own, and Vincent did fear the truth; and is deathly afraid of what will happen. "You are the first that I ever talked about this with. Not even Cloud and Tifa knows about my past, but he was there a year ago; when I saw her spirit in that cave. Cloud never asked anything more about it."

After some awkward silence, Lucrecia was about to ask another but Vincent's cough stopped her.

"Sorry to cut this short, but I would like to be alone now." Vincent said without taking his gaze from the night skyline of stars.

"Alright. Good night, Vincent." She replied. She walked out of Vincent's room, closing the door after her. Lucrecia then walked back into her own room and cleared off her bed. Lucrecia fell back onto it, finally closing her chocolate brown eyes.

"Good night ... Lucrecia ..." He said was he heard the door close. His mind went back to that time in Nibelheim, when they were talking. Vincent tried to make her see what he was saying, but in response were the harsh words that doomed him:

**JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!**

How those words cut through his heart like a knife. The latter part hurt him the worse, but seeing her cry on Hojo's shoulders did him in. And his reply, the same as always when she was with Hojo ... _As long as she's happy, I don't mind ..._ Vincent said that line so many times, he actually told her that and she said that she was ... didn't she? Or did she avoid his question by turning her head away from him?


	2. Secrets of Long Ago

**CHAPTER TWO: THE SECRETS OF LONG AGO**

"Just... **JUST LEAVE ME ALONE**!!!!"

_Was that her voice? Why did she sound so angry?_

Her vision was blurring but she finally looked at the face in front of hers. What she saw amazed her. It was Vincent, or someone who looked an awful lot like him, a man she'd met only hours ago. But different...

_'To answer your unasked questions, no - my hair was short then. I had blue eyes; it was because of other things made my eyes red.'  
_

Vincent's voice rang from the back of her mind from earlier. She wanted to get a better look at the man, just to be sure, but her eyes were so blurred with tears and she'd already turned to flee from his presence. She didn't look back. She'd ran to another man, one completely different, and sobbed to him quietly. "You were right, Professor!" She sniffled. "He didn't understand at all!!!" She cried as she threw her arms around him. She glanced back at the poor man whom she'd spat such spiteful words to. She'd gotten a better look at him this time. He was wearing a blue suit, one typical of the Turks. He had a handsome face, with some of his neatly trimmed, jet-black hair falling in front of it. But what struck her most, were his eyes. They were a bright color of blue. They seemed to make her heartache. Whatever his expression was earlier, it was now a dejected look. Almost like he couldn't be hurt more if someone were to stab him right through the heart. She thought she could see him mutter something as he turned.

"As long as she's happy...I don't mind." With those words, her soul seemed to cry out; begging him to change her mind and to tell her that it was wrong. She needed him to rescue her from this horrible path she'd taken... It was like she was watching a film that she couldn't stop, no matter what she tried. It was like a curse, a punishment and even a nightmare.

Lucrecia's eyes snapped open as the dream faded into oblivion. Or so she wished. The dream was still in her mind. It was a haunting memory that didn't even belong to her. Whose was it? As she thought, things started to make sense; in a way it was her, Lucrecia, but yet it wasn't. It was all getting confusing as the dream replayed itself constantly through her mind, driving her mad. She fumbled with the phone and somehow managed to clumsily dial her boss's number.

"Hello? Sir?" She said in a shaky voice over the receiver. "I...I need some help." She said finally, not liking to admit when she needed help.

"What is it Lucrecia? What's the matter?" Hanz knew something was wrong.... but what if... he smiled to himself... _Maybe... just maybe... _He waited until Lucrecia controlled her breathing.

"Sir..." She started, feeling a bit embarrassed that she'd called him up for this. "I had a nightmare. I dreamt that I was in Nibelheim...With a Turk and another scientist. It seemed so real that I just know this wasn't a normal dream. Can you help me?" She explained in a rushed tone, still trying to gain control over herself. What was happening to her? Things like this didn't affect her! She hadn't even had a nightmare in who knows how long!

"Ok, calm down. What report did you read last?"

_Yes! It's working... Of course I won't say that I heard the conversation that they had.... Hojo, you were a brilliant scientist! How I wish I knew you personally and been your assistant...._

Hanz loved this, he knew the truth behind Lucrecia's dreams/nightmares.... it was... destiny that brought the woman of thirty-one years ago back....

"I wasn't reading anything out of the ordinary! I was reading reports on the Jenova project and then some strange man came and talked to me! He said his name was Vincent and that he knew Lucrecia. The **FIRST **Lucrecia! After that I found out about her and then he had to leave!" She took a few breaths after spouting all of this. "And then I just had a nightmare that I was talking to Vincent, or I thought it was Vincent. I felt so guilty like I'd just betrayed someone very dear to me! I felt so sick with that guilt! It was so real! And I haven't had nightmares in the longest time!" She finally finished, nearly hyperventilating. Of course the dream on it's own was just confusing, but with those feelings of guilt, pain, and suffering, it made her feel like she'd committed some great sin that needed to be atoned for; but what? She didn't understand. And those feelings continued to gnaw away at her.

"Vincent.... ah yes.... A bright Turk thirty-one years ago... I read about him.... in some reports...." He chose his words carefully; he didn't want to mention Hojo's reports - where he found that name. "Amazing, he is still alive. It's weird that you had that dream. What did he tell you about her?"

"He said that I was just like her. In looks and the way I acted. And the way he looked at me...It was like he was looking at her. I swear that man would have probably given his own life for her. But that's not the point! He told me about her experiments, and her real role in the Jenova project. Oh! I just don't understand all of this! I don't know why I had that dream! It was like I was living someone else's life!" She rambled off, her voice rising somewhat as she finished. "I just don't know what to do..." She concluded.

"Interesting... yes you do look like her. In the reports you have, there is a picture of her. Don't let the dream get to you; it was what he told you that made you have that dream. Words of others that knew the person, could affect the brain in different ways. So don't worry it anymore. Have a good nights rest, and I will see you back at the lab in the morning."

"Yes sir...Goodnight." Lucrecia said as she tried not to slam down the receiver. Maybe he was right...Maybe it was just Vincent talking about Lucrecia that made the dream come. But Vincent hadn't even mentioned anything like what she experienced. It was just out of the blue; something else was going on here. It hadn't even been ten minutes and it was already driving her mad. _I don't understand. _She stated to herself. Lucrecia had things all figured out; she'd go to Midgar and prove herself and then join one of the research projects that had been going on since ShinRa's demise. But now she wasn't so sure. It was like she'd deviated from her path, even if it was ever so slightly, and was now struggling to find her way back. Lucrecia walked over to her window and opened it up; she needed a breath of fresh air. Her face felt colder than it should have in a few places as the breeze washed over her pale face. She reached a hand up and felt several damp places under her eyes, she'd been crying. She hadn't been when she called the professor. It had to have been when she was asleep; was this affecting her more deeply than she thought? Lucrecia brushed these thoughts away as she leaned out the window to get a better look at the city, or so she told herself. She never really liked the dirt and grime of Midgar, but she was here. It was the only place to be recognized. Lucrecia looked up at the stars again, not thinking of the reactions going on in the stars, or the constellations that would tell navigators their way home, or even how far away they were, like any other scientist. Lucrecia just saw the pure, perfect beauty of it all.

How it all fit together so perfectly, yet it still retained an element of surprise in their patterns. Like jewels thrown about a thick navy fabric, so were the stars that she loved so much. Her manner of thinking may have seemed childish to any other scientist of her day; still having the child-like comparison to jewels just spread across the sky. Yet the simplistic beauty was all she could count on these days. As long as the stars shined, she still had something to believe in. And that was the constant magnificence of the night sky.

Hanz smiled to himself. What's happening couldn't have gone well, even if he planned this himself. _Perfect, this is going most well indeed. It started quickly then I thought, but that's good - soon I will see some results of a long-term experiment. _He folded up his notebook, sealed the 'top secret' report ... the report cover read in dark red letters:

**TOP SECRET DOCUMENT SUBJECT: VINCENT VALENTINE AND LUCRECIA - PART ONE**

He sat the report on the nightstand, turned off the lamp and rested his head on the pillow. Hanz mind was thinking about how this little experiment is going well … even more quickly then he thought it would. He smiled as he thought, and congratulated himself for a job well done. Only if _he_ was here to see this, Hanz hoped that _he_ would be proud of him; as that thought entered into his head, Hanz closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

**  
**

Cloud sat on the couch downstairs, and then he heard a door open and shut. He got up and realized that Vincent and the woman parted for the night. Cloud hoped that Vincent was all right, he never saw Vincent that bad off. Cloud shrugged the thought off and decided to sleep for the rest of the night, as he got to his door he remembered that Diane was no longer there. Cloud silently cursed to himself.

"Great."

He walked behind the desk and sat down in the chair; Cloud lifted a hand up and rested his chin in the palm of that hand. "I really needed some sleep...." A door above opened and shut quietly, and then light footsteps were heard. Cloud turned around and saw Vincent.

"Are you alright?"

Vincent nodded and went into the living area and sat down on the couch. _What happened? He changed somewhat. _Cloud thought as he saw Vincent's demeanor. "Do you want anything Vincent?" Cloud asked, but got no reply from his moody friend. Vincent wasn't in a talkative mood ... when _is _he ever in a talkative mood. Vincent sat there on the couch; the appropriate word might be slouched, his mind trying to comprehend.

_Why is this happening? Why now after thirty-one years? I swear that the devil himself loves to toy with me..._

Cloud got up and went to the kitchen to get him some coffee. _I guess Diane wasn't the right person we wanted after all...._ He thought as he walked back to the desk. He looked over at Vincent, and wonders what his friend thinks about ... but he lets Vincent know that if he ever needed someone to talk to... he was there for him.

But Vincent never talks to anyone or shares his burdens; he always kept that to himself. _Keeping all that stuff he thinks about to himself can't be that good ... but what should that make Vincent change his mind now? ... He always had secrets ... I guess if I had a past like his, I wouldn't tell anyone either..._ Cloud shrugged again, sat down and sipped his coffee. _It's gonna be one of those nights again. I can feel it._

Cloud slowly twirls his cup around, watching the ripples form in the coffee; how he wishes he could get some rest. It seems like forever since he had a good night rest. The hotel is dead quiet, not a single person is up, except for him and Vincent; but most of the time Vincent doesn't count - because Vincent usually is gone and no one hears from him. Cloud gets up and decides to see what's Vincent is doing, as he enters the room; he noticed that Vincent is wide-awake and staring straight ahead.

"Is there something the matter?"

"No Cloud … and thanks for what you did back there…"

"Excuse me?" What Vincent said shocked Cloud for a while; this is the first time that Vincent said thanks to anyone… especially to him.

"You know."

"Oh! Well it was nothing, and your welcome; besides isn't that what friends are for."

Vincent didn't reply. _I wouldn't know, I never had a friend … my only friend now is the night… and an image of someone dear to me…. _Vincent closed his eyes, and sighed. "I want to be alone."

Cloud got the hint, but that wasn't really a hint was it? Cloud shrugged as he got up and headed back to the desk. Cloud looked around the counter and found a book.

"Strange, I don't remember in leaving a book here; it must have been Diane's. At least she could have left a note or something, but Diane never liked doing things the easy way." Cloud sighed as he plopped down in the chair. He drank some more of the coffee and placed the cup down. He yawned and covered his mouth with a hand.

The hours flew by without the two guys knowing it, and when Vincent opened his eyes - he saw the sunlight through the windows.

_Morning already? I must have fallen asleep last night and didn't realize it. _He got up and walked to the stairs and noticed Cloud asleep with his chin resting in his cupped hand. Vincent walks up the stairs and enters his room, that rest he took did him wonders. He felt like new, the burning sensation in his lungs is gone and his forehead feels cooler.

_Everything that happened yesterday wasn't a dream after all … but real … I can still smell her perfume here … remember her sitting beside me softly talking to me… us standing by the window looking at the stars… like we did so often back then … the only peace we could find in those troublesome nights._

Vincent walked to his bed and sat down, and closed his eyes. He can hear her starting to stir in the next room, and then her alarm clock went off. Vincent remembers every day that Lucrecia came in late, and most of the time - they were together.

Lucrecia stirred as she heard her alarm go off, her hand fumbled in the room trying to find the snooze button; and it finally made contact with it.

"Mmmmmm." Lucrecia mumbled as she sat up slowly.

_I must have finally fallen asleep… and that dream didn't come back … good! _

She found her glasses and made her way to the bathroom. Lucrecia turned the water on, cupped her hands, and gently splashed her face; then she grabbed the towel and patted her face. Lucrecia took her brush and started combing her hair while looking in the mirror; she noticed the small bags that was starting to form under her eyes, which meant that she hardly slept a wink last night and she tossed and turned without realizing it. Lucrecia walked back to the bed and found her rubber band, which must have fallen out; she grabbed it and put her hair back up into a ponytail.

_I should be on time today … and I hope I don't fall asleep during his demonstration ._She sighed as she headed to the door, grabbed her coat and her briefcase and opened the door. She took one last look in the room to make sure she got everything, Lucrecia nodded in satisfaction and closed the door behind her and locked it. As she walked to the steps, she stopped in front of Vincent's room, wondering if he was alright. Lucrecia took a breath and continued on. She slowly walked down the steps and noticed Cloud, at the desk.

"Good morning sir." Lucrecia said nodding.

"Good morning to you too." Cloud replied as he sipped his coffee.

"Is Vincent alright?"

"Oh yeah! He's fine."

"I'm glad to hear that. See you later this evening." Lucrecia went to the door, and turned back around. "If you see him today …" she paused for a second. "Could you tell him that I would like to finish our conversation when I get back."

"Sure thing ma'am."

"Please call me Lucrecia." She responded and left the hotel. Lucrecia welcomed the warm morning breeze, as she walked to the laboratory around the corner … it really isn't a laboratory as you might believe as one would look like. It was more of a stripped down one, it contains the most important pieces, but the least expensive equipment possible to get the job done.

As she walked in, Hanz was already there looking into the microscope. He's studying the specimen that they were researching when the left last night.

"Morning Lucrecia." Hanz said without turning towards her. He knew she walked in, because she is the only other person that knows about this secret 'laboratory'.

"Morning. How is it doing Professor?"

"No change unfortunately. I really hoped it would."

"Patience is the key, isn't?"

"Yes, yes…" Hanz said remotely and dismissively at the same time, which was evident in his voice. "But, there are special circumstances in which patience is _not_ the key. You still have to learn that lesson my dear."

"How do you know when it is and when it isn't?"

"You just do, it comes naturally. Come and look for yourself." He said as he motioned Lucrecia to him. She walked slowly up to him, Hanz moved to the side and she looked into the microscope. True, there was no change in the process, just the same as when they left. Lucrecia leaned back and thought.

"Did we follow the directions? I don't believe we missed a step." She said aloud, but really to herself, Hanz knew that she talked to herself when she's in deep concentration. Lucrecia looked at the paper beside the instrument and read it.

"Let's see …

Step 1: Put the sample in the Petri dish…. Check.

Step 2: Add three (3) drops of hydrochloric acid … Check.

Step 3: Study and log the progress."

Lucrecia glanced up at the paper above the one she was reading; it was the chart for the experiment.

"… Check.

Step 4: Let stand for 30 minutes before adding the salicylic acid…."

She turned to Hanz. "Did we add the salicylic acid?"

Hanz thought for a while, retracing their steps last night. He raised his hand up to his chin and started rubbing it.

"Yes we did, and we stopped there because we were running out of time."

"Ah… I remember that now. Then why don't we see any change?"

"Hmm, let me look at that."

Lucrecia handed Hanz the paper and he skimmed over it.

He nodded as he reviewed the steps and the charts of the progress of the experiment. Hanz laid the paper down and sighed. "It's no use… it didn't work. We have to start all over again. By the way Lucrecia, did you read over the notes that you took at the meeting yesterday?" She thought for a while, and almost forgot about it. Lucrecia stared at the floor. "Uh… kind of … I was a little preoccupied last night to read much of anything." Hanz knew exactly what she was talking about, and remembered the conversation they had last night over the phone. "Please read them tonight, they might contain the solution we're looking for."

Hanz walked over to another table and flipped through the notebook there. Lucrecia wondered what he was doing, but it isn't her place to ask, even though her curiosity is running high at the moment.

But she decided to finish the other project they were working on, so Lucrecia headed for the back door and opened it. Behind it revealed a long winding staircase that led deep into the bowels of this 'secret' lab. She reached over to her left, flipped the light switch, and down the stairs she walked. The sound of her footsteps, were the only noise that was heard, Lucrecia also thought that Hanz seem a little preoccupied himself recently. He has been looking through old folders and notebooks, and has lost himself in those for hours upon end. _Oh well, _she thought to herself. _I don't act that different either, I do lose myself in Lucrecia's notes … so I shouldn't really think anything about him doing the same._

Lucrecia reached the bottom of the stairwell and entered into the room, it was a library containing a lot of ShinRa's old documents. She sat her clipboard on the small table, and looked through the selves, trying to find out something more about 'The Jenova Project' that she learned more from Vincent. "Ab… ce…hi…ja…jc… je…. jem…jeo …Wait a second?" She stopped as she noticed that the "JEN" is missing. "That's strange; I thought I remember seeing it here last night." Lucrecia thought harder, playing back that night in her mind; yes, it was here … but she didn't take it. She had other documents surrounding the project, but not the documents talking specifically about it. "I wonder… nah; I might just be losing it, since I haven't slept well at all last night." Lucrecia sighed and continued down the shelves and around the library, maybe she can find another subject to read. This is her 'project', Hanz knows that she read a lot of these files, and here is where she found the experiment that they worked on last night, which turned out to be a waste of time.

"Oh my… what's this?" Lucrecia gasped, she pulled out the folder and looked at the letters that was written on the side. 'TU' "hmmm" she opened it up and walked back to the table. Lucrecia sat down and flipped through it, and stopped when she saw the word "TURK"; then Vincent's words came back to mind: 'I knew Lucrecia, because back then I was part of the group called the Turks, and she was a scientist there at ShinRa Inc.'

She skimmed over the pages, and at the end, found a list of the names of the people that were in that group. There were five columns: Name, DOS (Date of Service), DD (Discharge Date), Job, and Age. Lucrecia slowly dragged her finger down the list, and there he was, the last name on the list:

** NAME DOS DD JOB AGE**

**MIA **Vincent Valentine xx/xx/xxxx Marksman 23

"Strange, the Discharge Date is blank, but Vincent said that he _was_ one?" Then she looked at the left side of his name - MIA. "Missing in Action? Weird, why would it say that? But he's here and alive … I wonder what happened for them to write that in here?" She continued to the last column. "Wow! Vincent was 23 when he started; I thought that was too young for someone to become a Turk. But, how old was he when all the stuff he told me happened?" Lucrecia looked back at the other names, and most of them also had a Discharge Date left blank, and at the left side read - KIA.

"Killed in Action, and I thought that they didn't care about them … maybe they don't and this was just for their personal records." Lucrecia pondered these turn of events, she has to talk to Vincent about this … but would he get angry, when he sees this? Did he know that ShinRa kept records of their 'secret service' members? She sighed, leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. Before she could reopen them, she drifted off into sleep.

Vincent left the Hotel and decided to walk the streets, his mind still racing with the strange events that took place last night. Why is his still dwelling on these? Memories of old came back once again, but different events this time. This memory was of him talking to another Turk, and the discussion didn't make sense when it started.

' "_Come on Vincent; don't tell me that you never thought about it."_

"_No and why should I."_

"_Every guy thinks about it, a woman, a family …"_

"_Sure, with this kind of job, who can find a way to fall in love?"_

"_Sometimes it just hits you when you find that special someone."_

"_Spike, being in what we are, there is never time … and besides being a 'family man' would just get in the way."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_You would be distracted, your wife would be wondering if she would see her husband again, the children would be thinking the same thing; and at work, your mind will be on the family and if you will ever see them again … it would just end up hurting everyone."_

"_Vincent, you are so cold."_

"_If you want to be a Turk, your can't show any emotion, your heart has to be stone. Any type of emotion can and will be the death of you when it comes to a split second decision."_

"_It looks like you have been thinking of this subject…"_

_Vincent turned his head to his companion and his blue eyes narrowed. "No I haven't, it was never on my mind … that is my point of view on this subject. Falling in love will just cause pain, and will finally be the ending to everything you know..."_

"_Alright, alright, gee man… I didn't mean to hit a sensitive spot … I get your point … but just between me and you … there is this new scientist and she is beautiful, you have to see her."_

"_No Spike, I told you before, I don't like being set up and didn't you hear what I just said? I don't want a family …" '_

"... I'm lost."

Vincent snapped out of his daze, looked down and saw a little girl in front of him. The girl looked up at him. Should he help or continue waking? Vincent doesn't want to be rude, but he never talked to anybody on his walks, they were his only time to be lost in his thoughts; true, he was always lost in his thoughts and his past, but at the hotel there were always distractions and other things. Will he lie to the girl? He can't and he would regret his action later … like that last night with Lucrecia thirty-one years ago, so he knelt down and looked in the girl's eyes.

"What do you want to know?"

"I can't find my mother … we got separated. I don't know where to look."

Vincent can't help with this question and what would people think about him taking this little girl and walking away with her? He knows about some other things these folks say about him, and being a kidnapper wouldn't be a good thing to add.

"Sorry, I can't help you …" Vincent got up slowly and continued on his way, he wished her could help the girl out more, but rumors of him were already bad enough. Vincent feels the stares of the passer-bys on him, and ignores them. He wonders why people could be so cruel to strangers. People who are new, and before they get to know the person, rumors spread like wild fire in a forest full of trees.

Strangers have all the bad luck, but why do bad things happen to people who just want to live and get by in the world? Sometimes questions like those are best left unanswered.

He continued to walk on, and once again Vincent found himself thinking about Lucrecia; and how long it took him to realize that he had fallen in love with her, but Vincent never knew if Lucrecia felt the same way towards him.

_did you ever think she loved you?_

_Deep down inside I believed it, but some part of me never did._

_believe it Vincent; you knew she loved Hojo and her work more than you._

_No I don't believe that part! Nothing you say will ever convince me of that._

_really? What about that night in the orchard …_

_**NO! STOP IT!!!**_

_hit a sensitive spot didn't i?_

_Why don't you leave me alone?!_

_because it's fun to see you go mad!!! Want me to go on?_

_No, just stop it; leave me in peace._

_you know I can't, you're stuck with me for the rest of your 'everlasting' life._

_Do you have to constantly remind me?_

_of course! A life without knowing about hope and love… a life of solitude_

Solitude, how he wishes and dreams of when his solitude will end, but how can it? No one could look past his appearance - one did - Lucrecia, not the past one, but her 'twin'. She saw something else, seen a disheartened person - the look in her eyes told Vincent that. How Lucrecia showed concern when his 'fit' came full force, and she didn't flinch or look away.

_do you think she likes you? she could be using you just to know ..._

_Just stop right there, Chaos! I want to be alone._

_you are Vincent …_

_No, I mean for you to shut the hell up, and leave me alone._

_you can't get rid of me that easily … I will always be in the back of your mind …_

_I know and that is why I fear you, when you come out. All I want is to be like I was…having no care, and not having this heartache. I wish I never talked to that person who recruited me for the Turks … how I wish I could go back in time and stop myself …_

Chaos torments Vincent every time it can. Even though Vincent is the only one who can hear it, to him, Chaos talks so loud that Vincent swears that others could hear it.

Hours went by as Vincent continued his stroll through the town. It was quiet like usual, but something else caught Vincent sensitive hearing - a scream! He ran as fast as the wind to the park, as he approached; Vincent saw a man holding a woman against a tree and heard the next part of the 'conversation'.

"Give it all to me honey."

"I told you, I don't have anything else. You have everything."

The woman's voice was shaky, nervousness was apparent in there as well.

"Your lyin' dear, now hand it over!"

"I swear I don't' have anything else! Please let me go! Dear God let me go!"

"Not until I get what I came for." With that the man pushed her back farther into the bark and stepped closer, until his face was close enough that she could feel his breath on hers. The woman shut her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks, but before the man could do anything else; he was torn away from the woman and was tossed to the other side of the path. The woman took that as a clue and ran off as fast as she could. The man stood and faced the person that tossed him.

"You have no right to interfere..."

The other person stood quietly, a red cloak covering his left arm, and the man's blood red eyes narrowing to slits as he looked at his opponent. The two men stared at each other before the man ran towards the other, but in a blink of an eye - Vincent dodged the man's advance as the man stopped in shock that they didn't hit.

"Wha...."

Vincent then took the man by the shirt and turned him around, this time the man's back was against the tree and Vincent looked into his eyes.

"I'll let you go this time, but if I see you doing that again; I swear to the devil that I will kill you."

The man looked down and saw a golden claw holding him against the tree.

"... alright...please...don't hurt me... I swear that I won't do anything wrong again...."

"If you are lying, you won't live to make a mistake ever again...." With that Vincent let go of the man and ran out of the park, when he got some distance between him and the park, Vincent slowed down to a walk.

_there's my boy! show your true nature! i love it when you do!_

_My God, what did I do? Chaos why?_

_you need to show more anger to those types of people! they are walking garbage, the only language they understand are threats.... but don't worry, their kind never learn so you will see him again_

_I hope to God I don't, because it will be you that they will see, not me_

_threats are my kind of language, you have no backbone anymore - you gone soft hanging out with the Avalanche members_

_No I haven't...._

_don't lie to yourself Vincent, you know that you are. show me the beast inside you! show me the man that took nothing from anyone! show me the Turk that was the best of the best - the one that could beat them all in everything!_

He was the best of the Turks; whenever there was a mission he was their first choice. That man is still there, but somehow recently he is being buried by the haunting memories of long ago. Before long Vincent made a circle and was back at the hotel, he can't recall anything that happened after his encounter in the park with that thug. He sighed silently as he entered the building and without acknowledging Tifa and Cloud, he continued up the steps and went into his room and closed his door.

Tifa followed Vincent with her eyes until he disappeared. "He's back early."

"That is strange, but at least he's himself again. I told you about last night right?"

"Yes, and about the woman that was with him. Does he know her?" Tifa turned to face Cloud who just shrugged in reply to her question. Silently, drops of rain could be heard hitting the pavement outside and gently tapping the windowsills.

Hanz picked up the folder as he heard the door to the basement closed. "Now I can look at this more closely, I didn't want Lucrecia to see it." He went to the stool behind him and sat down, opening it. The first Lucrecia was a mystery trying to unfold, but with Vincent it was a different matter. Hojo had left a journal since he started working for ShinRa, but the most fascinating part of it was when the black-haired Turk appeared. There were countless entries of their disagreements; most were Hojo's rambling about that Turk. The common phrases that Hojo wrote down in his journal that described Vincent were: 'nosy', 'incompetent', 'meddling', 'too curious for his own good', and many others.

Hanz had only seen Vincent once, and these phrases didn't come to mind; but he has this feeling that he will sooner or later. As he reached near the end, something caught Hanz's attention: Hojo's experiment journal. "What's this?" He lifted it up closer and studied it like that of a child whose interested was peaked about something.

**Name: Vincent Valentine**

**ID: #79013342**

**Project: #124610**

**Occupation: Member of the Turk Organization**

**Job: Sharpshooter/Gunman**

**EXPERIMENT LOG/SUBJECT PROGESS**

**DAY ONE**

**TIME: 17:07:00**

"Now this is more like, I always wanted to know how this little experiment worked. I can't believe that he logged it… What's this?" Hanz saw a key inside the back pocket of the folder he took the key and looked at it. Then he remembered seeing a locked safe in the corner.

He got up and walked over to the safe. Hanz inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it, there was a soft click as it unlocked and the door squeaked as it opened. Inside he saw cassettes, he reached in and pulled one out and read it.

**VINCENT VALENTINE'S EXPERIMENT LOG**

"He tapped it also! This is getting better all the time! Now I can listen to it and read it at the same time! You are such a genius Hojo!"

Then all the sudden the door behind him opened and Lucrecia walked in. He quickly stuck the tape in lab coat and looked at her. Lucrecia closed the door behind her and turned to face Hanz.

"I must have fallen asleep downstairs because I had another one of those memories, dreams, nightmares; or whatever you want to call them." She said softly as she held the folder close to her side.

_Another one? This quickly, this experiment is going far better than I hoped it would!_ "What was it about?" Hanz replied not trying to show his excitement, but his voice gave the hint of peaked interest. Lucrecia tried not to show that his look was starting to make her uncomfortable._ What does he care about these dreams? Why am I telling him this anyway…. This isn't his concern, but yet he wants to know…. Why?_

"Well…" She started trying to get her thoughts into focus. "It was different from the ones before, they were sad and confusing. This one was really weird…. I was at place, I think it was an eating room of some kind and I was talking with this guy, I believe it was Vincent again." Lucrecia stopped and thought for a while longer, trying to figure this out. Once again she dreamt of a guy that she just met, but these dreams felt different, like she actually knew him in a past life. "We were talking about different books we read before. I remembered being surprised about the knowledge he had, and the fascination he had about reading."

"Why did that surprise you?" He voice showing more and more interest as she spoke.

"I must have assumed that the group he was affiliated with never read books." Without realizing it, Lucrecia face started getting a far away look in it. She sighed, rubbed her eyes, and looked at Hanz. His face was starting to unnerve her more than it was. "I'm sorry professor, I shouldn't tell you this stuff, and it is so childish of me."

"No, not at all. Please feel free to tell me your dreams, there are really interesting."

Now this is really starting to make Lucrecia uncomfortable, he_never_ showed interest in her before. Now all the sudden, Lucrecia is having these dreams Hanz wants to know about them? "I won't bug you with this petty stuff anymore; they're just dreams and nothing more. I can figure them out on my own. I think I'll call it a night, sir, I don't feel that good."

"Sure, I think that's a good idea. See you tomorrow afternoon Lucrecia, and be sure to read the notes from last night."

"Alright Professor, good night." Lucrecia bowed and exited the laboratory.

It was just starting to drizzle so she hurried to the hotel and as she entered, the rain came down hard. The brown haired woman that stood behind the desk, and the blond haired man that she met early this morning, smiled.

"Made it right on time didn't you." Tifa said light heartedly.

"Yes ma'am, I almost got soaked." Lucrecia smiled back, and she started up the stairs. When she reached the top stair, she saw light coming from Vincent's door. _I wonder if he is in the mood to talk some more._ She walked quietly up to his door and stopped; she lifted a hand like she was going to knock but just held it there. Lucrecia sighed, lowered her hand back to her side and continued to her room.


	3. Promised Renewed

**CHAPTER 3: A PROMISED RENEWED**

Weeks went by since Lucrecia first saw Vincent, and during that time unknown dreams haunted her sleep; each one was her talking with him. Some were happy, others were sad; and one odd dream consisted of two scientists – one that was in her first nightmare and the other seemed more pleasant.

_These are memories ._ She thought to herself, _but whose? These are defiantly not mine … or are they? _Lucrecia stopped talking to Hanz about her dreams, because she noticed something strange about how he looked at her while she was talking. That look was sending cold chills down her spine.

Lucrecia sighed and reached for the notebook on the nightstand. She unclipped the pen, opened the notebook to a blank page and started writing. After a while she stopped, loosing her concentration and her mind dwelt on Vincent._I wonder what happened to Vincent; something tragic after the first Lucrecia death must have happened. He's not the same since the night we first talked. Vincent is still holding something back and I want him to know that I would listen to him and not say a word. Does he trust me though? I feel strange inside every time I see him, why? My heart aches every time I look into Vincent's ruby eyes, those eyes … how it wants to tell me the story it has to say, but his mind won't let them._Lucrecia sighed and placed the notebook back on the nightstand. She leaned back on the pillow, and closed her soft, weary brown eyes - and before long Lucrecia fell asleep.

A trip to the library always calmed her nerves after a stressful day at work. She nodded to the librarians as she entered, for they all know her very well. She laid the notebooks and folders, which she was carrying on the nearest table and continued to her usually section. The woman's glanced at the books and out of the corner of her eye; she noticed a familiar color suite walk around the corner. She quietly followed and accidentally bumped into that person.

"OH! Sorry I didn't … "

"It's alright, it's isn't the first time."

Lucrecia looked up and her brown eyes focused on a lovely pair of blue, looking down at her.

"Vincent?" She asked shocked.

"Surprised to see me here Lucrecia?" He stated casually. Lucrecia felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she replied. "Uh… kinda…"

A small smile crept up on Vincent's face. "It is strange to find a Turk hanging around in a library. Most of them don't like to read, but I find it peaceful after a stressful day at ShinRa HQ, if you know what I mean." Lucrecia nodded in agreement. "That is why I come here too."

Why does she feel strange every time she sees or talks to this Turk Vincent? Her heart seems to skip a beat whenever he's around.

Then she noticed the book in his arms. "What book are you reading?"

His glance went down to the book, then back to Lucrecia and shrugged his broad shoulders. "Don't know it just looked interesting, so I decided to give it a shot." Lucrecia looked at the spine of the book and read the title out loud. "Human Experimentation: Is it right or wrong." She looked back up at Vincent.

"I didn't know you liked science."

"I know all the basic stuff, never cared for the really deep subjects, but this caught my eyes for some reason."

"If you want, I could explain the parts that you don't understand and have questions about. I would really like to help you in the subject that I like." Vincent noticed a small shine in Lucrecia's eyes as she spoke and smiled at her.

"Sure, I'd like that, thanks for the offer."

"No problem Vincent." Lucrecia smiled back at Vincent. "I'm sitting at the table around the corner if you would like a place to sit."

"It's always good to have company." With that Vincent walked around the corner and sat down. Lucrecia followed him as he did so, and wondered why this Turk was so different from the rest. Every time she sees him, Vincent is usually by himself and on occasion another Turk accompanies him …

Lucrecia stirs as light shone through the window to her room. She slowly opened her eyes and sighed. _Another dream … does these have some hidden message that I am supposed to know? Maybe Vincent ..._ Lucrecia thought to herself but stopped when she realized that Vincent disappeared all the sudden. The man downstairs, Cloud Strife says that he does this all the time and she shouldn't be concerned … but she is and she can't stop thinking about him. Lucrecia can't get Vincent out of her mind, everything that he ever said to her stayed with her.

He was so sad and how she wanted to do more than just listen, Lucrecia's heart screamed for her to hold Vincent – but her body wouldn't move.

The whole time Vincent had been gone, she wanted to see him again, his light ruby eyes pained her heart deeply and how it ached for him. What is this feeling? Lucrecia slowly got out went to the bathroom, as she looked in the mirror her eyes were red. Had she had been crying? Lucrecia rubbed her eyes and sighed, this whole time she wasn't focused on her work; her mind was everywhere else, except in the present.

Lucrecia got dressed, brushed her hair, picked up her folders and exited the room.

"I hope he's alright..." She said to herself.

(I linger in the doorway)

Vincent stood in a dark alley, and blended in the shadows. He can't remember why he left Midgar, or and why he returned.

(Monsters calling my name)

Maybe he came back because his happiest memories were here, this is the place he found love; yes it was the most unusual place he thought it could ever be, and yes this was the place where his dreams were shattered. Vincent then decided that he should be heading back, but why? What was there at the hotel that draws him there again?

(Let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me)

One rainy night when he thought that his life couldn't be worse, is when she came back. The woman he thought he would never see again, a woman that has haunted his dreams for the past thirty-one years; was now here again, his mind in chaos trying to solve this mystery … why?

As he started walking, dark rain clouds crept slowly across the darkening sky. Vincent could feel the light taps of raindrops on his shoulders.

(Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story)

A slight chilly wind rushed past him, blowing his hair into his face and wrapping his cape around him; but he ignored it. His mind was always where it was … never in the present anymore, but in the time and place where he actually lived.

(I lie inside myself for hours)

Where else would his mind recede to when he felt this way? Again he feels the icy stares of the passerby's and once again ignores them. He knows what they think sometime about him.

'Poor soul, I wonder what he thinks about', 'maybe he's not all there ya know? He could be like….'

(Don't say I'm out of touch)

Vincent knows more than they ever will, for he was alive when ShinRa was just getting big and in control of all Midgar … and was there to see that mighty giant fall. He knows more about the past then most of the new historians, why don't they ask the stranger about the past? Why would they? This stranger scares everyone that sees him … they wouldn't dare approach someone that has a metal arm.

_that's right Vincent, you're a freak living in a 'normal' world and trying to live a 'normal' life in it_

(With this rampant Chaos – your reality)

_How things change, and how I thought the world I knew could never be something – but that one day, I knew my world would be changed for the worse. _

_why do you still think about it? you could never go back and change it, so why keep torturing yourself…._

_Maybe there is nothing else I can do, maybe that's the part of me that keeps me sane in this world that I shouldn't be_

(I know what lies beyond my sleeping refuge)

Chaos still speaks to him, and Vincent blocks him out. The past always seems to catch up with him in the inopportune times, but he's grown accustomed to it and he likes it most of the times.

(The nightmare I built my own world to escape)

The raindrops tapping his shoulders more forcefully as he headed back to the hotel, but he doesn't care about it. The rain reminds him of his past … sad, lonely and once again it will pass, but soon it will come back and the cycle continues till the end of time.

His mind is back at that day, as he held the first Lucrecia in his arms and then he heard what issued forth … a scream of desperation? No it was one of sadness … loneliness, and what soon will come to be.

(Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming)

Vincent closed his eyes shut, trying to erase that sound out of his mind, but he never can and never will … for it was that day he was doomed to relive that time forever.

(Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights)

He looked up and there was the hotel in front of him. Vincent looked around and the rain stopped but he knew that the cycle will start again very soon … like his life, it's a never ending cycle of sadness and loneliness.

(Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming)

But will his dream ever come true? His life long, dream since that day was to sleep and never wake up … but will someone come to his resting place and shatter that dream once again?

He knows that it wasn't Cloud's fault, but ShinRa needed to be stopped, and now how he wished for the time that he could repeat that sleep.

Today seemed to drag on, more than usual, but something made this day a one to dread. Footsteps were heard, and the splashes when they hit the puddles of water. The person was breathing heavily as if trying to catch their breath as they ran. The person looked back every once and a while to see if someone was coming, the footsteps sounded like that person was running for their life. The breath came in gasps, as if the person was going to fall unconscious at any given time. The alley ahead was quite, but the footsteps never lightened, yelling was heard in the background but the person running just seemed to run faster, trying to put as much distance as they could between them and that voice. Then a cloud decided to drop its water on the fleeing person, as if to say that no matter what, they can't run fast enough to escape their fate.

Fate…. Now that's a word people could love and loathe at the same time. What it could mean depends on the situation involving that person. It could end up making that person happy and blames it on fate… but the down side is that it could also mean that a person is meant to suffer and no matter what that person can do, nothing goes right. Destiny could also mean the same thing in the same situation. Those two words can mean a lot of different things for different people. Maybe the same for two people, if they actually believe in that fate and destiny is real and works hand in hand with each other.

(I'm so tired of being here)

One person does blame fate for his troubles, pain and grief. He lives a life of solitude and can never find what he wants, no matter how hard he looks and tries.

(Suppressed by all my childish fears)

Vincent was in his room, thoughts running wild circles in his head. Contemplating everything that has happened in his lifetime; Always wondering if something could change his life for the better, but he always came to the same conclusion: How can someone like me find happiness? Fate has other plans for me … my destiny lies elsewhere, somewhere I can't find or touch … so what happens to me? Will I ever leave my past behind, and stop thinking about it?? Or is this what they have in store for the rest of my life?

(I would give the very breath from my chest)

How he wishes that he could do something more on that day. Anything would have been better than what he did. Why didn't he choose to do something? Why did he just stay where he was? Was it because of all the emotions that he was feeling at the same time …: love, anger, fear, sadness, and loneliness?

(To give you all the things that my mind couldn't bare.)

He couldn't quite explain what he felt that day; he still can't put his feelings in words. Did Vincent feelings have any words to explain? Since that day, the mistake he made, has haunted his life for all eternity. His heart breaks every time he thinks of that, and no one can see it, or hear, but Vincent alone.

(And if you have to leave)

He stares out of the window, thinking if they are answers to all his questions; but one word comes to mind: no.

_Why me? Why I am I meant to suffer this way? This thing started the day Lucrecia died._

(I wish that you would just leave)

Then all the sudden a loud, pounding noise came from outside his room.

"Vincent, please open the door!"

(Because you presence still lingers here)

The voice had an urgency tone; he quickly jumped off his bed and ran to the door. As he opened it, Lucrecia stood there, soaked with the rain and her tears.

(And it won't leave me alone.)

"Lucrecia?"

(These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real)

She walked in quickly, as Vincent closed the door. He stood there; confused, even from here he could see her body shaking with her tears. Vincent quietly walked up behind her, and then Lucrecia suddenly turned around and buried her wet face in Vincent's chest.

(There is just too much that time cannot erase.)

"Oh Vincent...."

(When you cried ... I'd wipe away all of your tears.

When you'd scream ... I'd fight away all of your fears)

Lucrecia said through her sobs. Unconscientiously Vincent took one of her hands into his and the other, the metallic one, he wrapped around her waist.

(And I've held your hand through all of these years)

"What's wrong Lucrecia?"

She didn't respond, and he just held her tightly against him. _This reminds me of that day, but I was the one that was crying then…. And she was crying on Hojo's shoulders..._ He thought to himself.

"Protect me from him please Vincent." Lucrecia said softly breaking into his thoughts. He looked down at her with a quizzical look.

"He who?"

(But you still have)

"The professor..."

Professor, how he learned to loath that word and anything associated with it. Now there is a different professor that has come to destroy their lives.

"Don't worry Lucrecia; no-one is going to hurt you. No-one, I promise you."

(All me)

_Again with that promise … this time I will keep it… even if I have to die …_

(You used to captivate me by your resonating life)

His hand, still holding hers, moved up and touched her soft, damped cheek. Vincent stepped back, his ruby eyes meeting her delicate brown eyes. She looked up at him and smiled.

(Now I'm bound by the life you left behind)

"Thank you..."

(Your face it haunts)

Vincent couldn't hold back his feelings any longer; he bent down and kisses her lips.Lucrecia was shocked at first, but didn't push herself away, and soon that emotion faded. The hand that was being held by Vincent's somehow found a way to free itself and went around his waist, as her other hand did the same.

(My once pleasant dreams)

Vincent hugged Lucrecia tighter, not wanting this moment to end. After awhile, Vincent slowly backed away and turned around as if ashamed of what he did. "Sorry." Was all Vincent could say, he couldn't find any other words to justify his actions.

(Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me)

"Vincent? Why?"

"I shouldn't have done that, I don't know what came over me. Sorry Lucrecia."

(These wounds won't seem to heal)

"It's alright. Don't be sorry Vincent; I should be the one to apologize." With that Lucrecia lowered her head and stared at the floor.

Vincent turned back around and looked at her, with a shocked expression on his face.

"You shouldn't be sorry, you've done nothing wrong."

(This pain is just too real)

"Yes I did, Vincent! If I didn't look so much like _her, _you wouldn't have done what you did." Tears ran down her cheeks as she looked into Vincent's eyes.

"It's not your fault."

"Vincent...." Lucrecia's voice was hardly above a whisper.

(There's just too much that time cannot erase)

"Don't talk Lucrecia. There are other things that I have not told you about me."

Lucrecia stood where she was, waiting for him to continue. _What other things happened? What hasn't he told me?_ She thought to herself. She remembered their conversation earlier. Vincent took a breath and let it out slowly. _Here it goes._ He thought to himself.

(When you cried)

"When we first talked, I told you how the first Lucrecia died and how Hojo done nothing to save her. What happened afterwards is what you see before you." He held up his metallic arm as if to put it on display for all to see. "As I turned around to leave, I heard a gun shot. It took me awhile to find out that I was the one that got shot. Instead of letting me die, Hojo saved my life, only to have immortality - never to die of old age - and my metallic arm. These are the reminders of what happened thirty-one years ago. I will always look like how I did back then; remember every single moment of that life, and how I wish to _God_, that I could forget them ... even for one day..." Vincent stopped and closed his eyes, how that hurt him to talk about.

Lucrecia stood there speechless, her hand over her mouth. This was defiantly not what she expected to hear from him.

"Vinc..."

(I'd wipe away all of your tears)

"I'm not finished yet," Vincent said gently interrupting her. "There is one more thing for you to know and after hearing it - you have to decide if you still want to be around me...."

_Why? Why am I saying this!_

_because she has to know who and what you truly are! MONSTER!!! DEMON!!!! she will hate you like the first one! she will say for you to stay away from her! you shall repeat this nightmarish cycle for the rest of your life!!!!!!!_

Vincent started to shake and his hand was trembling; trying to fight off his inner voice. He took a breath to steady his beating heart, but it just kept pounding.

(When you'd scream)

"All the while I was being experimented on, day in and day out. He also injected some of the Jenova cells into my bloodstream. One of the experiments was with the irises which in turn made my eyes red, and also... something else ... 'grew' inside me... It.... it..."

(I'd fight away all of your fears)

He started to feel sweat pouring off his face, he couldn't continue. _IT_ scared him and he can't talk about _IT_. How can he describe what he truly is now to someone?

(And I've held your hand through all of these years)

"Vincent, please don't continue to hurt yourself like this." Lucrecia's eyes started to water more, as she saw and heard him talk about his past. Vincent looked into her eyes, how he remembered that look in Lucrecia's on that day she ran to Hojo after their fight.... During the conversation, Vincent walked past Lucrecia and sat down on the bed. Lucrecia wiped her tears away with her sleeve, as she watched him. He leaned back against the backboard of the bed, and looked into her eyes, which was still moist from the tears that are flowing down her cheeks.

(But you still have)

"Can I stay with you tonight? I'm scared," she said softly through the tears.

(All me)

Vincent nodded slowly. Lucrecia walked up to the bed, got in, laying on his lap and resting her head on his metallic arm. She welcomed the warm embrace that followed next, she feels much safer here then any other place she could remember. To her, Vincent was the guardian angel that was sent to her in her most troubled time. Even though Vincent would never believe that he could ever be called someone's angel, when he knows that there's a demon inside him. Before too long Lucrecia was sound asleep, and Vincent stood watch over her.

As she slept on his arm, Vincent's mind went back in time again. This was not the happiest moment; it's always the same trip as before. The moment that would change him forever, his other hand gently moved up and down her arm, as a parent would to comfort their child after a bad dream. Vincent can't explain all these emotions he's feeling at this time. The night drifted along slowly, as Vincent held Lucrecia. To him, it was a never-ending night, to hold his love - or someone might call it her 'spirit' or copy - but he didn't care. Vincent has finally found some happiness in his dark and lonesome life.

_it will end you know… you will always be alone! you are destined to be alone, only me to keep you company for all eternity … you … a monster … are never allowed to be happy!!_

_For God's sake leave me alone! Why do you always torture me?! _

_i am your constant reminder of what was, what is, and will always be!_

Deep inside, Vincent thought he could hear Chaos laughing. No matter how hard he tries, Vincent can't forget Chaos. A demon that was 'born', or created, on that day, became a revenge for her death later on. He sat still, listening to Lucrecia's breathing. It's weird that something this trivial could sooth an aching wound like his heart. His heart will never be filled like it was thirty-one years ago, but could it be mending? Slowly covering over the hole?

_It seems that history is repeating itself … but how far will it go? How long will it last? …_

How far back in time will Vincent's mind wonder? In a brief period of time, his whole life went through his mind - even what just happened last year. Vincent closed his eyes, and sighed; these past few months have caused him a lot of pain and suffering.

(I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone)

Vincent's heart ached every time he thought of Lucrecia; and now his love has came back to him. Different emotions swelled up inside his body. It was like a tug of war between his mind, heart and soul; one part tells him to keep her safe and love her, another part tries to comprehend what has happened; and the other tells Vincent that this is not real and to forget what he sees - but he can't.

(And though you're still with me)

_How can I forget Lucrecia? Trying to forget her is like denying who or what I am …_

(I've been alone all along)

The war continued on, and Vincent soon let the night carry him away - far away from the inner turmoil. Lucrecia opened her eyes and looked around; she had totally forgotten that she fell asleep. She tried to move, but soon realized that Vincent's arm was around her chest, as if holding on to her so she wouldn't fall - and pulled her head back to look up at him; Vincent was asleep.

(When you cried ... I'd wipe away all of your tears.)

_How long have I been asleep? _Lucrecia thought to herself, and noticed the expression on Vincent's face. _He looks so peaceful now, as if all his pain just vanished into thin air. Poor lost, wondering soul … _

(When you'd scream ... I'd fight away all of your fears)

_Will you ever find your new place in this world? Can you ever truly be free of all the things that hurt you so? Do you need someone to help you carry that burden? _

(And I've held your hand through all of these years)

She freed one hand and placed it on his cheek. _If you need someone, I'll try to help you as the best way I can … But how can I?_

(But you still have)

_It hurts you so deeply to tell me, I can see it in your eyes as you talk; maybe we're not strong enough to trust each other yet. When we can, that will be the day we both will be free once again._

(All me)

Lucrecia smiled, this was a new feeling for her, but yet it seems so right and wrong at the same time. Deep in her mind she knew that this was right, and yet something in the back of it recognized the feeling – like she had it before; but her heart said the opposite … it says to leave him and never come back, for just being next to Vincent hurts him so … but yet it is comforting for her and him both. Lucrecia agreed with her mind and before long she drifted back to sleep.

Vincent opened his eyes and felt her hand slip from his face. He looked down and saw a smile on her face. What was she thinking about? What is the reason for her smile?

(I long to walk away and pull myself out of the rain)

Vincent can never find his smile again, for his mind is caught in the eye of an endless storm. His heart is so weighed down with sadness, how on earth could he find time for a smile?

(But I can't leave without you.)

How he dreads remembering the things of long ago, and how he wished he could always forget those memories. The memory of him holding her tightly that night in the mansion, tears never came that night … for some reason he couldn't feel anything more.

(I would love to live without the constant fear and endless doubt)

But deep down inside, he can't … he just can't forget her. If he ever did, he would feel that he really betrayed his feeling about the woman he loved and cared for.

(But I can't live without you.)

He lived without Lucrecia for over thirty odd years, but for some reason he holds on to that memory of when he was happy with her. Vincent could never forget Lucrecia in his long, lonely life … for who could ever erase the happiest moment in someone's life? It would feel worse then having your very heart ripped from your chest. That is what he feels if he betrayed that memory of them. Her love is what keeps him going even now when he is so confused about the twists and turns that this evil world throws at him.


End file.
